Boy, Hubby’s had a long week this week.  He has to work today, tomorrow and possibly Sunday.  All over time too and he likes that overtime I’m here to tell ya.  I’m afraid that by Sunday evening he’s going to be one whipped puppy dog.  He’s coming home this evening though to pick up his paycheck, get his laundry done and take me back with him when he goes back Saturday morning.  If it weren’t for the bird and that herd of feral cats that love me more than I love them, I’d be going with him every week.  I hate having to ask my neighbor and friend Margaret to take care of them for more than a week at a time. 

I’m going to change up the format for Friday Funnies & Weird Stuff starting today.  I’ve decided that I’m not going to do the links to the news stories any longer.  I just don’t have the time nor do their seem to be any really funny news stories lately.  And if you think my blog loads slow, you ought to be on my end with dial-up trying to load my Yahoo! home page.  It takes almost an hour daily to try to load the pages to find good stories that it seems that no one really cares about anyway.

So, with that said, what I’ve decided to do it to return it back to just Friday Funnies and list some of the best jokes that I’ve gotten in my email for the week.  And so with that, I give you this weeks jokes. 

A blonde was busy weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat, who was hiding in the grass.  She scoped up the cat and it’s tail and rushed it over to Wal-Mart.

Why Wal-Mart you ask?  Because Wal-Mart is the nations #1 retailer.

Okay, moving right along to the next joke:
A group of kindergartner’s were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade.  The biggest hurdle they faced was the teacher insisting on NO baby talk!  “You need to use ‘Big People’ words”, she was always reminding them.  She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.  “I went to visit my Nana”, he replied.  “No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER.  Use ‘Big People” words!, she replied.  The teacher then asked Mitchell what he had done.  “I took a ride on a choo-choo.”, Mitchell replied.  She said, “No, you took a ride on a TRAIN..You must remember to use ‘Big People’ words.”  The teacher then asked little Alex what he had done.  “I read a book,” he replied.  “That’s WONDERFUL!” the teacher said.  “What book did you read?”  Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, “Winnie the SHIT.”

And for the final joke:
The Alabama preacher said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.  This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.

I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.  Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and his Christian Family.”  No one moved a muscle.

The preacher continued, “Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood?  Remember, you will be forgive and in your heart you will feel glory.  Now stand and confess your transgression.”  Again all was quiet.

Then slowly a drop-dead gorgeous blond with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew.  Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke,  “Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding.  I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan.  I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.”

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared!

Y’all have a good weekend now ya hear!