A.   Click on the link below.  You will get a black page.
B.  Click your mouse and hold anywhere (& everywhere) on the page & see what happens!
C.   Better yet, click & drag your mouse over the black page… Enjoy!!

http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf

Then there are days that just as I sit down, he’ll say before you sit down could you (insert all kinds of thing that I can fetch for him here).  Some days I think he waits until he sees that I’ve sat down before he asks for something.  Nah, I don’t really think that, but I do wonder.

Then there is also the fact that he now takes up 3/4th of the bed when he sleeps.  If we had a king size bed that wouldn’t be a problem, but we have a queen size bed and now I have to sleep on my side, on the very edge of the bed.  It’s not very comfortable, but I’m only kind of complaining because I know that Hubby isn’t very comfortable either because it’s almost impossible for him to get really comfortable sleeping on his back like he is now.  It really hurts him when he lays on either side and that is how he used to sleep. 

So I’m thinking that maybe I just need to blow up the twin size air mattress and start sleeping on it in the livingroom.  I’m not sure if I would sleep better but I would definitely have more room than what I have now.  Maybe if I was able to have more room to sleep than what I have now, maybe I would sleep better.  Maybe if I slept better Hubby’s being cranky wouldn’t bother me as much….hmmmm.

We are still having trouble getting him medication to control his pain.  I swear he has tried so many medications and the doctor is puzzled that they are making him hurt rather than take away his pain.  In Hubby’s typical sense of humor he says that they have them named right-pain pills, what he needs is some painless pills.  They changed his pain med’s again on Thursday and they seem to be helping.  If these don’t work then they will have to refer him to the pain management clinic.  Cross your fingers that his new med’s continue to work.

Hubby and I were guessing how much weight he had lost this time.  Hubby said he probably weighed 170 pounds and I said 160 pounds.  He weighed a whopping 159.3 pounds.  He weighed 205 pounds on Christmas eve and 177.6 pounds on February 9.  He’s slowly wasting away to nothing.  He 5’11 and at 159 pounds he looks like a bag of bones.  His legs are skinny toothpicks and you can see his ribs.  It’s really heart breaking to see how he’s gone down hill  in two months time. 

Sorry I haven’t been posting as normal.  My med’s are helping me cope with all of this to an extent.  When it’s really bad I just can’t seem to get motivated to post.  I’m really tired of posting so much gloom and doom and would just like for there to be some happiness around here to write about. 

This last Sunday he was having a bad hurting spell so I laid down next to him, not because I could do anything, but more or less as moral support and I fell asleep.  I slept for four hours.  Hubby asked me to take my blood pressure later that evening and when I did it was 128/80.  That just absolutely tickled him to no end, and it did explain why I was feeling wiped out. 

I’ve had several really good blood pressure reading in the last couple of days.  I’ve also slept a lot because I’ve just felt like I’m drained.  I know that will get better as I adjust to my blood pressure being low.  It’s really weird because when my blood pressure was high I actually felt good and now that it’s going down I don’t feel as well.  It’s good that the doctor cautioned me what to watch for because this being better but not feeling better…it’s the pits. 

While I know that it is still a little bit too high, it’s a wonderful improvement and I still have to get it down, but it is so much better than it was and I’m very happy about the progress that has been made.