Remember when you were a kid and some one was always telling you "don’t do that"?

Don’t leave the lights on when you leave a room; it will run up the electric bill and I’m not made of money.

Don’t leave the door open; where you born in a barn? 
(Actually I always wanted to be born in a barn just so that I could answer "as a matter of fact, yes I was".)

Don’t run with scissors; you will poke your eye out.

Don’t sit too close to the TV; it’s bad for your eyes.
(And yet here I sit today within 12" of a computer monitor…go figure.)

Don’t write on yourself with that ballpoint pen; you’ll get blood poisoning.
(I’m surprised I’m still alive with as many notes I’ve written on my hand with an ink pen.)

Don’t make faces like that; your face will freeze and you’ll look like that forever.
(So that’s why I look like I do.)

Don’t stand there with the refrigerator door open; I’m not goin to air condition the whole house with the refrigerator.

Don’t walk around with your shoe lace untied; you’ll fall and trip on your face.

I probably should have paid more attention to that last one.  Really, why do they make shoe laces so long any more?  I stepped on my shoe lace and untied it.  Instead of taking the time and bending over and tying it I just kept on doing what I was doing.  Bad decision on my part as I just tripped my self when I stepped on it.  Of course it is inconsequential that I can trip over my own feet with out the aid of an untied shoe lace but that’s beside the point.  I got a feeling this is going to be a long day if I’m already fighting with my shoe strings.

I’m tired tonight and every thing is funny.  Even deleting all the spam that had accumulated today, I cracked myself up.  While I was hitting the delete button I was singing inside my head, it’s my blog and I’ll delete if I want to, delete if I want to, you would delete to if it happened to you.  Okay, for you youngsters, ahem Mella, that’s to the tune of It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To.  Yes, I’m weird, but I’m easily entertained.

And some days you’re the fire hydrant.  I think I’m the fire hydrant this week.  It just hasn’t been my week and it’s only Thursday.  I’ve had enough mishaps so far that I’m seriously contemplating keeping my gluteus maximus in bed tomorrow…seriously, I think I need a rubber room to keep from hurting myself.

Monday afternoon I made a couple of pitchers of iced tea for Hubby.  I left them sitting out on the counter to cool and knew that they would be cool enough by bed time to put into the refrigerator.  Just before I went to bed I picked up the first one and as I came across the kitchen sink I bumped the glass pitcher on the sink.  Of course it burst and I had sticky warm tea all over me, the cabinets and the floor.  Naturally it had to be my favorite pitcher that broke.  I then had to clean up the mess on the cabinets, mop the floor and shower before I could go to bed.  Note to self:  let ice tea pitcher cool on the cabinet beside the refrigerator from now on.

Then Tuesday evening we had salad for supper and had enough left over for supper Wednesday night.  When I went to get it out of the refrigerator the bowl slipped out of my hand and the bowl landed upside down with the salad all over the floor.  On the bright side, my big old yellow and white Fire King bowl didn’t break.  Note to self:  put press and seal wrap on the grocery list…aluminum foil will cause big bowl to jump out of your hand.

To top that all off, I made stroganoff for supper and cooked it a little early because when Hubby came in we were going to run down to the vegetable stand to get some fresh green beans.  I knew we would be a while getting back home because the owners are friends and we’d be there visiting for a while.  When we finally got home I got the salad out of the refrigerator and spilled it all over the floor.  After a minor temper tantrum over my clumsiness I decided to open another can of vegetable to replace the salad.  Then I put the stroganoff  and the  vegetables on the table.  Hubby took one bite of the stroganoff and said have you tasted this?  I had but wasn’t going to say any thing if Hubby didn’t.  It did not keep well in the slow cooker even though I had it set on the keep warm setting.  It reminded me of the time when the kids were little and my goulash ended up being gooeylash because I had made it in the overn.  Note to self:  do not put stroganoff in slow cooker ever again to keep warm.

The funny thing about all of this is that on the way home from the vegetable stand Hubby remarked that he figured that I’d want to go out to eat tonight since we were going into town.  Sooooo, when all of this happened Hubby (bless his heart, he was trying to make me laugh because he knew I was really upset) said "You didn’t have to throw supper in the floor, I’d have taken you out to eat, all you had to do was ask"…and off to town we went and got some Popeye’s chicken.  Bless his heart, I think he was worried that I’d burn the house down if I tried to cook anything else last night.

Or as we southerner’s like to say..this ain’t no shit. 

The last morning that Hubby worked in Russellville we decided to eat at IHOP.  It was one of Hubby’s favorite breakfast places and we had eaten there four or five times before.  Every time before we would leave I would make a visit to the lady’s room.  All the times before this one, the restroom had several people, mostly employee’s chit chatting thus making a bit of noise.  This particular time there wasn’t another soul in there so it was really quiet.  The restroom also has automatic flush toilets.

Okay, I do my business, stand up and the toilet flushes.  Except this time I hear what sounds like a cat squalling like I’m stepping on it’s tail.  Without thinking, I’m jumping around trying to get off this poor cat’s tail while trying to pull up my pants.  After a few jumps it finally dawns on me that squalling was just the toilet flushing.

I get my pants righted, wash my hands and go out to where Hubby is paying for our breakfast, still chuckling that I did something so stupid.  When the cashier asked us if everything was alright, I started laughing.  Laughing so hard that I couldn’t make any kind of reply.  When I was finally able to tell on myself the cashier started laughing too and said that she hadn’t thought about it but that I was right, the toilet did sound like a cat squalling when you flushed the toilet.

It’s funny what kind of tricks your mind will play on you when you’ve been awake all night long and it’s way past your bed time.

The other morning as I was getting dressed the maids knocked on the door.  Luckily I was just changing from my house shoes to my street shoes so that I could walk down to the ice machine to get ice.  I went and let the maids in and got our clean towels and all that other stuff and then I put my coat on, picked up my room card and cell phone and put them in my pocket and opened the door.  Just as I opened the door I looked down at my feet because the wind was really blowing and my left foot got a chill and it just struck me odd.  This is what I saw when I looked down:

Oops, I didn’t quite get my shoes changed out before I let the maids in.  I guess it was a good thing that the wind was blowing and my foot got cold other wise I would have traipsed across the parking lot looking like the idiot that I am.  I know I’m an idiot some times but I really try not to let the rest of the world know it.

Remember my cute little camera I bought last June when we were in St. Louis?  I’ve just spent about two hours looking for the cord to recharge the damn thing.  I looked in the camera bag, I looked in, under and around the desk, I’ve looked in every drawer in this house, I’ve looked in every nook and cranny that it could possibly be.  I kid you not, I even looked in the freezer.  Then I had an  but I better explain what led to the .

Earlier in the day I had gone to the camera bag and looked for the cord.  I didn’t recognize the cord to plug into the camera to charge the camera while leaving the battery in the camera.  I did find the external battery charger and another cord that I though was to plug the camera into an USB port to transfer pictures.  I disconnected the part that had the USB connector end and plugged the power supply end into the external charger and put the battery on to charge.  I was miffed because I hadn’t put my charger away like I almost always do.  I don’t have to charge the camera very often, in fact this will be the third time in the last 9 months that I’ve charged it because it has a phenomenal battery.  Anyways, I put it on to charge and I tell myself that I’ll find the cord some later. 

I thought about where that danged charger could be all day long.  I started looking for it about 10 o’clock and I looked and I looked and I looked.  Then the  hit me.  I went back to the camera bag and got the piece of cord that had the USB connector on it and took it to the power supply and camera.  I plugged the cord back into the power supply and then the USB connector into the camera, plugged the power supply into the electrical outlet and viola-camera in now charging. 

You can not imagine how stupid I feel right now.  But hey, the good news is that it’s found and I can blame my memory lapse on Menopause…this website confirms it.